Aya didn't pay much attention to the meeting until a collective gasp went up from the crowd. She looked up to see what the fuss was about. When she saw Raven her mouth actually dropped open. Most of his hair had been singed off and what remained had been scorched black. He reluctantly admitted he had been unable to retrieve the fire. With that a long cycle of volunteers and failures began. After Raven, Owl who they nicknamed Screech volunteered to go. When Screech returned he was sporting new red eyes, burned when he got too close and tried to look at the fire. Next went Screech's two cousins, Hoot and Horn. They too returned without the fire but sported some very lovely new white rings around their eyes.
Deeming the fliers incompetent, Snake, also known as Racer decided to go. He swam to try and get to the fire from underneath but it was too hot for him. Upon returning he seemed to have developed a new way of walking, continuously jerking side to side as if he was afraid of being scorched. Racer's brother, Climber was next. He attempted climbing the tree but choked on the smoke and returned with his entire being was a new shade of black. After so many failures the council decided to disband for the day and regroup the next morning. Aya gathered her things and left to find a place to spend the night. Even if she hadn't been pleased with having to attend this meeting, she had been able to complete some crochet projects and had gotten some entertainment while doing so.
The next morning started out much differently. It was quiet and everyone shuffled back and forth. Not a single person volunteered to go retrieve the fire.
"This is ridiculous," Aya exclaimed. "I'll go."
Several people turned to look at her in surprise.
"I can go along the surface of the water and dive below if necessary."
"That's all well and good but how will you bring it back?" someone asked.
"Don't worry about that. Just leave it to me."
She quickly crocheted a small pouch which she wore on her back. She then headed out for the island and retrieved a single coal of the fire. She placed it in the pouch on her back and returned to the council. They used the coal to build a fire of their own and their world became warmer and a little bit brighter.
(Fire)
Author's Note: This story is inspired by The First Fire from the Cherokee Myths unit. With this story I wanted to tell it from the point of view of the character who represents the water spider in the original story. In the original story we don't hear about the water spider until she volunteers to go retrieve the fire. I got this image in my head of a disinterested character not really paying attention to what's going on until it reaches a point where people aren't sure what to do next. Then she steps up and says I might as well give it a try. In my story I do envision my characters as human but I kept their names as the animals which they represent.
Bibliography: Myths of the Cherokee by James Mooney (1900).
Hey, Rachel! I really really loved your story! Your method of retelling here is quite similar to mine, taking the first person point of view of a character and adding in details to tweak the story and give it something. . . more. Your choice of narrator was perfect, and the characterization was detailed and engaging. Great work!!
ReplyDeleteFirst off, great story this week! I really like how you incorporated some of the names from the original story into your own! I thought the play on words, Owl being nicknamed Screech was fun and even though that was in the original story, it worked in yours too! I also thought you did a good job on the intro of the story, I wasn’t sure what it was going to be about but it kept my attention so I kept going. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHey Rachel!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your story. I thought that your sentences flowed well and your paragraphs were organized nicely. You caught my attention from the beginning with your title because once I read it, I had a good sense of the plot of the story. Nice job with that. I liked that you chose to include dialogue at the end of the story. This helped me understand and get to know the characters on a deeper level. Overall, great job!